Life's Journal
by r-iem
Summary: We all know the life of our cute, little assassin, Killua. But what about his mother? Join Kikyo as she write every entry of her life in her diary. Starting with her life as a Zoldyck. 05!
1. 01

**Hey guys, this is my first entry AND my first fanfic for Hunter X Hunter. Mind you, I like Kikyo's character very much and was hoping to see someone writing about her. But sadly, there aren't. So please, read mine**

**Note: Possibility of the family being out of character and secrets revealed. Read at your own risk.**

**You have been WARNED.**

Disclaimer: I do **not** own Hunter X Hunter.

* * *

**Memoir**

In the daily life of society, it is common for anyone to own a diary – a book that recorded every entry of their very life. Whether the series of events were exciting or just plain ordinary, they are one's personal life. So I ask you, what better way is to write down your personal life other than this? After all, this is our privacy.

For that reason, a woman named Kikyo Zoldyck had chosen to develop this pastime.

In one of the rooms occupied within the manor, there was a woman dressed in white. She was seated on a chair, holding a pen with her refined, long fingers and a book present on the table. The woman was writing its first entry on the paper, quite happily, starting with the usual quote.

. . .

**Dear diary,**

**I'm not sure what date is today but today is a very special day for me. I'm getting married! **

**I repeat. I am getting married! **

**As if those pretty dresses aren't enough, I even got the chance of wearing a wedding dress! Oh, those frilly dress… So white, so beautiful, so elegant… Hugging my body warmly… If only these were the hands of that big muscles. Hoho…**

"*knock knock* Ma'am, are you ready?" interrupted a voice outside her room. "We are about to start."

"Alright, in a minute." Receiving her reply, footsteps slowly leave the doorway.

**My, how time flies… Perhaps I was a bit nervous about this. Regardless, this is my time to shine!**

* * *

**Temptation**

**Dear diary,**

**It was... HORRIBLE!**

**Of course I knew that the main point about this is our legal marriage. But this is too much… **

**I was expecting more, like a grand ceremony, a feast. This family is loaded for crying out loud! So why isn't there any big celebration? The only people who only witnessed our marriage were his parents, his grandfather and the servants! So why…?**

**Oh, right… We're assassins.**

**Ignore the fact! The main problem is –**

"What are you doing?" asked a husky voice suddenly, peeking at her diary.

"Anata!" Kikyo turned to her right to face the silver haired man. He was rather close. "You scared me!"

"Why? Is my wife finally notices how fearful I am?" he asked slyly.

"Ha. Ha." she said, obviously not impressed, "very funny."

"You know I was teasing. Don't be that way."

Silva playfully applies light kisses onto her exposed shoulder, which he was grateful at her for not changing, and reached her neckline. She could feel his breath onto her skin.

"Stop it. You do know I'm in the middle of one of my private pleasure."

"That could wait. After all," he closed her luscious lips with a kiss. "I'm your husband now."

She glanced sideways at her diary. '_I guess it could wait.'_

Silva smirked through their intimacy. The only lighting to their room was the lamp. And you could guess what happened. Tonight, they are in their own world. Different gender, different status, different people becomes one.

* * *

**Words : 500**

**And so, I'm going to merge the first and second entry as suggested. I'm sorry in advance for not updating this fic. Everything's hectic with school and whatever. This is all I can manage so please, please, please wait for the next entry. **

**Virtual chocolate cookies for everyone!**


	2. 02

**It's a …?**

**Dear diary,**

**It was terrible of me not finishing the last entry but guess what? I'm pregnant! I know, right? I couldn't believe it too.**

**My, that was a wonderful night. I could still feel his intensity in me… **Kikyo giggled childishly and blushed at her thoughts of the night before. **It's a reasonable excuse, don't you think? I hope the result of our love will be a great assassin one day like the father. And I will be the happiest mother that I would have never imagined! In fact, proud!**

**IF it is a girl, of course.**

**A boy's fine though but I prefer a girl better. Wish me luck.**

* * *

Nine months later…

**Dear diary,**

**I had gone and undergo the worst possible scenario for any ordinary, pregnant woman. Painful, I admit, but not enough to kill.**

**Good news is I have a baby! An adorable one too. Anata was worried. I know because I'm his wife, even if he might not show it. Unfortunately, it wasn't what I'd hope for. Nevertheless, he is cute! If only there is a picture of him, then I could attach it here.**

*attach baby picture here*

**Hey, what do you know? There's a section here! I MUST take his picture! **

**…His? I wonder what name would suit him. My adorable baby has this ivory skin and big eyes. Too big if you ask me.**

**Ivory…? Light…?**

**Ah-hah! Illumi. **

And that my friends, is how the baby got his name.

* * *

**Odd fashion**

**Dear diary,**

**It's common sense that the early stages of a baby's life are done by the care of their parents. This I know because Anata and I both want the best for our newborn. To top it all, he is our first child, the eldest. He would soon be a model for his younger siblings.**

**I was over excited, of course, for being a mother. But then there's the 'training of assassins from birth' thing. A reason why I'm complaining today.**

**Anata gets to have him! Even father too!**

**If they won't let me, I'll find the way. One way or another…**

* * *

"Mama, where are we going?" asked a two year old Illumi. "I'm supposed to be training with papa."

"Don't worry, sweetie. This won't take long," convinced Kikyo. "Your father wouldn't mind at all."

Apparently, it was evident from Kikyo's sweet voice that she has not inform her husband beforehand of taking his son away for a little while. She has something in mind.

What this 'something in mind' actually means, in her dictionary, dressing. Co-dressing.

"Illumi, you're so cute!" Kikyo cuddled her son and rubs his cheeks against his.

At the moment, Illumi had changed into a blue lined sailor suit with the color white as its background. And the boy, as you could have guessed, did not like it at all. He was tense, fidgeting in his mother's so-called choice of clothes. Worst, he even wears its hat which had also come in package.

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**Words: 500**

**It's three entries this time! What d'ya think? Is it better this way? REVIEW!**


	3. 03

**To start off, I'm sorry it's a long wait. Really, really, really. Those who are still following this, thanks a lot! Honestly, I'm finding it a bit hard how to start this. But I decided to write more about Kikyo's temporary doll. **

**Seriously guys, the poor boy's choice of clothing is weird. Blame the mistress!**

* * *

**Odd fashion, again?**

**Dear diary, **

**You wouldn't have guessed. You wouldn't have believed this!**

**My baby… my precious Illumi… He's… he's… A GIRL! (Not that I'm against this. Hoho~)**

**Technically and definitely biologically, he is a boy. Now that he's five, his hair has gotten longer – silky, smooth, raven hair. He gets that from me.** **Best part is… he's involving himself more with those clothes I bought for him. Isn't that great!?**

**What's more, he actually came to me. Willingly! Now I don't have to drag him anymore. His father, however, is not too happy about it. That silly husband of mine, he just doesn't appreciate fashion like I do!**

**Said it's a waste of time. Ridiculous outfits he called it. That hurt… I was offended for crying out loud! **

**Of course, Anata being Anata, he does not even know the true meaning of fashion, pizzazz and absolutely style I tell you! He's only wearing those old fashioned garment! Like he knows…**

"…Mama?" interrupted an all too familiar voice. "Am I interrupting?" Illumi was at the door, peeping shyly into the room. Apparently, Kikyo did not hear the child's knocking for at least five times.

Kikyo closed her diary and smiled warmly at her daughter… err… son? "No, not at all." Knowing that it was fine, Illumi went inside. He was wearing his usual clothes, much to Kikyo's distaste, and had tied his hair into a ponytail. It was more to a boy than a girl.

_'Time for a makeover.' _

* * *

**…An end?**

**Dear diary,**

**I had a good time yesterday. Dressed up Illumi pretty damn fine if I do say so for myself. Heck, I lost count as a result! But perhaps… Perhaps I should cut down a notch a little. After all, I'm having another one. Teehee~**

STOP! HALT! HOLD IT! WAIT JUST A MOMENT!

As you might be wondering… what happened to Illumi!?

Rewind

'Time for a makeover,' was what Kikyo had planned. And well… she succeeds.

From the looks of her expression, Illumi knew exactly what that meant. He was fully aware of it and yet, why is he still doing it? He knew that once he stepped into that room, horrible things would happen.

At first, it was okay. His mother often bought him clothes he believed to be for boys. The sailor suit was a start, then came those overalls and eventually, a tux. He thought to himself; 'Maybe this is the way mama express her love. Besides, the sailor suit wasn't that bad…'

Think again, Illumi!

It happened in a flash. It was a blur. All he could remember was ribbons. Lots and lots of ribbons. The last thing he knew, he was in a white dress with green polka dots and a big red bow tied at the back. His once tied up hair was down and had a yellow hairband on. To complete his attire was matching yellow shoes. It was… flashy.

The odd thing is… he sort of, well, like it.

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**All right. Did a change if you noticed. Crappy, I know. Oh, well… **

**'Til next time!**


	4. 04

**First of all, I'm sorry for not updating this fic and write a different one instead. Care to read 'Forsaken Qualms'? **

**Anywho, here's the fourth chap and two new entries. **

* * *

**Is it worth it?**

**Dear diary,**

**It has been nearly nine months now. Only a couple of days left before I'm in labour. I can't wait! I am SO happy! **

**But wait…**

**If we're having a baby… then that means Anata is going to take care of it, again! Like what he did to my adorable Illumi. Oh, no. No way. Nu-uh. Not this time he isn't!**

**This time. Yes, this time…** Kikyo laughed excitedly imagining the thought of having this second child all to herself very, very soon.** I will have my way!**

Another nine months later…

Surely enough, Kikyo had delivered a healthy born baby boy. Again. Silva would usually take the newborn straight to training, however, Kikyo was the first one to claim her rights on their baby's upbringing. How? Let's just say it involves having sex. A whole lot of 'em.

. . .

Time was sure fast. It was already 1:23 AM in the morning but Silva was still awake. He glanced down at his wife's sleeping face. She was still as beautiful as ever like when they first met. And somehow, her expression only makes him crave for her more.

"Kikyo…" Silva whispered in her ear. Warm breath blown over her cold skin was enough to wake her. "You promised."

"I know… but we've already did it four hours straight."

"No," he purred, nibbling and licking her ear – a sensitive region. "No, I can't."

"Stop it..." She moaned but it didn't stop him. "A-anata…"

* * *

**Spoiled**

**Dear diary,**

**Either I'm ruing over the deal I've made with Anata or I purposely made myself go high and reached paradise, I don't even know if I want to answer that. **

**He's already full within me! I'm not so sure if I can take much more…**

Kikyo ended her entry for today and put down her trusty pen. There was so much more for her to write in that small book of hers but that would have to wait. Her baby was crying in his cradle, wanting his mother's attention and affection at once. It was feeding time.

Indeed a growing baby needs a lot of calcium in its body to develop their immune system and growth, and breast milk are the ones who are the most abundant in these compare to cow's milk or powdered ones. This child of hers, however, preferred bottled milks which included the latter products. But since it made the baby's skin more soft and fair, Kikyo did not mind at all.

As a result of that milk affluence, he has these chubby cheeks that made anyone want to pinch them, mainly her, adorable and cute in any other way! The unnamed baby was showered with Kikyo's motherly love, unlike Illumi who was given a fatherly love, which was well… obscure and profound in Silva's own way. It was unfair, true, but it's still love. Tough luck Illumi.

"Milk…" Kikyo thought out loud. The unnamed baby needed a name. "How does 'Milluki' sound?"


	5. 05

**Mmm... special thanks to Bushwah for the reviews and feedbacks!**

**To Guest (2/7/13 ) Anata does means 'you' in japanese but it also means 'darling'**

**I enjoyed writing this.**

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**That doll**

**Dear diary,**

**Once again, I found myself not having a daughter. This is so frustrating! Why can't I have a daughter? Is it so wrong for me to have a baby girl?**

**At least my Illumi appreciate what I'm doing for him. (Unlike some people I know!) I couldn't be much happier especially that Milluki came into our lives. Problem is... I don't know what to do with him.**

**So far, I've tried dressing him up with Illumi's old clothes only to be too small for him. And I tell ya, fussed he did over them. Then I thought of letting him pick up the different outfits I ordered for his brother to try out. Boy, was he horrible at it! Guess he doesn't have a creative mind like moi~**

**In the end, I told him to just... watch.**

. . .

As usual, Kikyo and her two sons were in her room that afternoon. She was about to finish the final touches to Illumi's outfit until the younger sibling threw a tantrum.

"Mama...!" two year old Millluki moaned. "Are you done yet?"

"For the umpteenth time Milluki," Kikyo didn't avert her attention from her work's form, "mama's not finished with your brother."

"But Milli bored!"

"Put a sock to it, Milluki."

"Illumi! You shouldn't say that to your brother," the mother scolded her eldest son. "Hold still and don't move a muscle 'til I'm back."

"What's this?" Milluki stare at the miniature girl his mother gave. She merely smiled.

"A doll."

* * *

**Busted**

**Dear diary,**

**The figurine I've given to precious Milluki works! I knew he would throw fits if he's being ignored so I came prepared. But I'm still skeptic about it...**

**What the heck. Now I can no longer be bothered from the art of fashion I love!**

**However, as a result, he wanted me to buy more of them. I don't put much effort on choosing the doll in the first place but he's picky. Very picky. Wonder where he gets that from? When I say no, he threatens me with a tantrum. That's when I introduce him to the computer.**

**But lately... he's been fixated on that mechanism. It's not bad though. I can peacefully have Illumi all to myself.**

. . .

"Have you seen your brother anywhere?" Kikyo suddenly spoke as she adjusts Illumi's fedora, an idea she got when reading Robin Hood. "I haven't seen him lately."

"He's been shutting himself in his room."

"Why?" Now this is odd. "It's not like him confining himself in that room of his."

"I do not know, mother. But when I was passing his room, I heard him laughing to himself."

. . .

There was a knock on Milluki's door, disturbing him from his new-found love. Enraged, he opened the door and shouted only to find his mother at the door.

"I-is... Is this what you've been up to?"

Kikyo saw the computer she bought for him displayed pictures of girl. Girls older than him. 2D.


End file.
